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Nigel Farage: There's only one man for the job of UK Ambassador to Trump Chopper's Political Podcast

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Option 10

Solution for offshore processing of illegal migrants to a 3rd country and to discourage them from coming to the UK in the first place that the spiv lawyers cannot block.
There is no way the French will help to stop the migrants crossing to the UK. They want to get rid of those in France by any means.
Do a deal with Denmark and Greenland (Denmark may like to be involved as well) . It is a lovely country and as the Greenlanders really enjoy living there so should also the migrants.
Pay Greenland to allow the UK to establish a number of Hamlets located in remote coastal areas that can only be accessed to by aircraft and sea. Being in remote areas then the migrants cannot annoy the Greenlanders and cannot abscond. The Greenlanders think it is a right good place to live and as such it must be OK for the migrants so the ECHR cannot object. Chance for Greenland to earn some easy cash.
Fly or ship the illegals (and others for deporting) to Greenland immediately on arrival for processing (same day?).
They stay there until they decide for themselves to go home, can be sent home or to a country who will accept them. No problem – the Greenlanders are more than happy to live there all year round.
Conditions to be Spartan but adequate. Food to be nutritious, healthy and tasty mealy grub burgers, crickets on a stick, tripe, spam and marmite, wonky veg the supermarkets will not buy off the farmers, etc (that is what our political illuminati want us to eat).
Accommodation in Nissen huts, with bunk beds, heated to 50 degrees (those are the conditions our troops had and it was quite good enough for them so the migrants and ECHR cannot expect conditions better than our soldiers had).
The migrants have to peel the spuds etc, do the washing up and cleaning of the Huts etc (again it is what our soldiers had to do)
Sporting events of making Snowmen competitions and playing snowballs. All other activities and luxuries supplied by Migrant Charities by Crowd Funding .
One communal phone per Nissan Hut. A luxury TV per hut to show only news supplied by a Migrant Charity.
Because the Greenlanders are quite happy living in Greenland the Human Rights lawyers cannot say it is unsuitable to house the migrants there and as there is nobody for miles it cannot be declared a dangerous country.
Also a good place to send foreign criminals before they return to their home country.
The HR lawyers on Legal Aid for the migrants must deal with them in Greenland and be liable for the legal costs if they lose. Legal Aid to have an upper limit and the rest to be Pro Bono.
A small cruise liner moored in Greenland that visitors /site workers can have a cabin while working there and lawyers can hire one when meeting their clients.
Site workers do 3 months on and 3 months off.